after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
