on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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