woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
