Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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