I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
