I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So vagazzling was a success
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
