also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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