She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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