Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
