question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
