Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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