why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize
