my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I would ride that face into the sunset
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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