I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
