Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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