I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
