i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
