Did you just see the Batmobile???
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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