Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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