some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
