So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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