and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I looked at my own cervix.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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