Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
