OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
