If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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