doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Randomize
