I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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