my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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