So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
