i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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