I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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