I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
