there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
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