Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
