I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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