Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My dick has a subreddit
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize