There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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