omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
