Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
