Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize