I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize