Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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