I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
