If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
