Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
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I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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