it hurts more in the daytime
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
