The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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