if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
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The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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