This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize