exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
