I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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