What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
