I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
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We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
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You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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