found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
