Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
