Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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