i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
