dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
